By: Dr. Phyllis Bivins-Hudson
You may be wondering to what celebration I am referring. Well, it’s May. And for me, May always has a feeling like it’s a threshold.
That time of the year when we get the feeling that something else is about to happen. That’s how I feel when May finally arrives—like something new is on the horizon. It’s almost in the middle of the year so it’s not quite a beginning, but it’s also not quite an ending.
However, it does feel like a quiet, powerful space where things that have already been in motion start to shift.
These shifts, such as the flowers that come after the April showers, don’t ask for permission to bloom. They don’t debate over whether they are ready or not. We look up one morning and they are just there.
They become! And if I’m honest, that’s what this season has been for me—becoming.
I’m referring to my upcoming book release party. But before there is a book release party, before there are conversations, applauses, or the celebrations, there is the work.
To others that work seems easy because they receive it in its totality. However, for me, the work is quiet, hard, sincere, and honest. But I’ve done it!
My new book, to be formally introduced to the world on June 13th, is Finding December. And writing it was not just about storytelling. It was about truth telling. I wrote what was so hard to say out loud. I wrote about relationships and relationships are often complicated because there are so many layers.
This is because when we talk about relationships, we recognize that they don’t just happen. We talk about how we felt. What we ignored. What we tolerated. What we hoped would change—what we hoped we could change. And finally, what we had to face.
There are moments in Finding December that may feel familiar to you. Not because your story is the same as mine, but because the emotions, the questions, the quiet realizations, they all live in so many of us.
That’s why this story will resonate with many readers. It’s also why writing this story mattered to me and hopefully to others.
We must find it in us to share our stories because there are those who have and are still questioning their worth, navigating a complicated relationship, learning how to let go, trying to find themselves again, or throwing their hands up because they have reached the point where they are ready to give up.
If Finding December reaches just one person in that space and hears the whispers, “You are not alone,” then every page I’ve toiled over has been worth it.
My story, and stories like these, matter for a number of reasons. We don’t talk enough about them, but we have to. And we must devote some of that time to the in-between parts of relationships.
Most of the time we look at the beginnings—which are usually exciting because of the newness of the relationship.
Then our time shifts to the endings—which are usually breakups that fall into one category or another: it fizzled out, got stale, lost its spark, drifted apart, mutual separation, anticlimactic decline, or it was a dramatic breakup.
And of course, there’s the staying, the hoping, the enduring, the awakening.
In truth, my story and stories like Finding December create space for us to reflect without the judgment of others. These stories allow us to look at ourselves from a place of clarity. And they allow us to put a name to what we have felt along the way.
For me, the most incredible space I found was finding the courage to choose differently once I recognized what unhealthy looked like.
That recognition empowered me to look honestly at my self-worth and begin my own healing process.
So on June 13th, I won’t just be celebrating a book.
I’ll be celebrating my own journey with all the lessons I’ve learned along the way. There are 13 very valuable ones that can be found on my Live on Instagram from April 23, 2026. On that episode, I talked about these lessons in depth and how they lived inside me until I wrote Finding December.
And guess what? I want you to be a part of my celebration! Not just as a guest, but someone who can understand that my story is bigger than the words I have crafted in the form of a second memoir. The book is about experiences that we all share as women and men.
The conversations are meaningful. But most importantly is the fact that the courage it took to tell my story is honored in my words.
If you have experienced a similar journey, or you are someone who is just a believer in the power of storytelling, my story, my space, my release of this work is a space for you.
So, May is my moment—and yours too I hope. It’s a time for reflection, consideration, and questions.
Whether you plan to attend my event or not, in retrospect, ask yourself these questions about relationships:
What am I holding onto?
What am I learning from my relationships?
What am I ready to release?
What part of me is ready to become something new?
Before Finding December reaches your hands, consider your own story, it might just be waiting to meet you where you are right at this very moment.
In the meantime, I hope you’ll read Finding December. And I hope you will feel at least some of what I felt when writing it. But most of all, I truly hope you’ll join me on June 13th as we celebrate more than a book—we will be celebrate becoming.
If you plan to attend, I urge you to go to my Instagram or FaceBook page and look for the flyer. The deadline for your RSVP is June 1. So there is still time. We plan to have a blast! See you there.
In the meantime, keep finding your own December…